Well, I knew that having a girl would be fun and special, but I had no idea that she would just melt our little hearts. There is something special about a mother having a daughter (and a father having a son). I don't know exactly how to word it, but it's there. It's something about having something shared. Girls will be girls and boys will be boys and it's nice to "be" with your child.
I wish I could make sense of what I'm trying to say, but everything is coming out wrong. Everything seems to have a tone that I like Fern more than Burl, and that is definitely not the case. Even typing that on the screen hurts my mom-heart a little. There are no favorites, just differences. And it is different with a daughter.
The whole house seems to swoon and talk in a higher-pitched, sweeter tone when we talk to her. Or even about her. A few attributes about her have made her a little bit more precious. First, she's little, or "wittle" is what we really say. This is something a little different for me. For Burl's height and weight, he never came below the 70th percentile. He's suppose to be 6'3" when he finishes growing. He was always huge, which I adored about him. When Fern was born, she weighed 9 lbs, 14 ounces, and I was sure I could only make large people. But over the months, she's grown, but not at the rate that Burl did. The past few times we've been to the doctor, Fern has been in the 25-40th percentile for weight and height. My jaw almost hit the floor one time. I convinced myself that I wasn't feeding her enough-I even asked the doctor, but he assured me that she was very healthy and asked if she was happy? Happy? Oh yeah. It's just that she weighs the same at six months that Burl weighed at two months. Because she's so wittle, we still just see her as this precious thing that needs extra care and attention and doting. Oh, how we all dote on her!
The second little attribute that makes her special are her outfits. With Burl, I kept it simple-just a cute color combination of onesies and shorts. With Fern, I'm loving all the girl clothes. My mom and I have finally gotten into a good rhythm of liking the same things (or finding some common ground where our tastes overlap), which means she's constantly bringing over cute little outfits. On this day, I put on this bubble suit that my mom got. I love all these warm weathered clothes. They expose so much skin for me to touch and feel and kiss and love on. Even though most of the world thinks babies' feet are the cutest, I adore the shoulders. Oh, they are so soft and kissable and when she's wearing things like this, kisses she gets!
John and I have looked at these few pictures about 100 times. The first word that we say is "soft," because that's what she is. Soft. That's who she is. Soft. And soft is the perfect word to describe the life when one is lucky enough to have a baby. I'm pretty sure that when she's grown, I'm going to see these pictures and remember. I'm going to remember how soft and sweet baby Fern was. For now, I plan on kissing and hugging and snuggling her so that I can imprint in my brain the memory of just how special it is to have a baby Fern.