Playborhood

My favorite gift to give my children right now is empty time to play and roam. Their rooms. Our house. A campsite. Our yard. I love to give them time and space to fill on their own. 

My best and strongest memories of my childhood were filling the empty time that I was given. On Sunday afternoons my parents would nap while Joseph and I were left to ourselves. We loved to pack up stuff, take it outside, and turn one of our tiny porches into a ship. We loved pretend-boating. 

I'm sure there is some science behind the benefits of children filling their own time, because my brother has told me about them. I'm not down on the science-I do it because it's fun and it's cool. (Plus, with Burl in school five days a week, I know that he needs his unstructured, unplanned time to be Burl.)

Burl, Fern, and Ridge are all at the ages and abilities where I can trust them outside. After school, we might grab a snack or change clothes, then we head to the front yard or back yard to play. Right now, I pretty much plop myself down in a chair and supervise from behind a book. Third trimester ain't kickball and frisbees...

Playing outside has become a rarity in our neighborhood, and we're on the hunt for friends who are free to play too. It's not that easy these days because everyone's schedules seem full. (We're known as the ones with "kids always playing in the front yard," like it's something unique.) I read my favorite parenting article ever recently about letting kids play. This was my childhood minus the adult-curated backyard. We made our own playgrounds. I pulled out my first teeth trying to pull a big wheel on top of my neighbors' treehouse. We moved our trampoline all over our yard to find places to jump off of. And yes, we even got on the roof (my brothers more than me). How we survived with no broken bones is always our wonder... 

It wasn't that my parents RAISED us that way, like it was a conscience decision. It's just what we did. I often wonder about my involvement with my children's play. Sometimes I think I might hold them back in the name of safety, but not letting them develop can be more dangerous. 

We will continue to play outside, while I overthink things once again. Am I too involved? Am I not involved enough? It's one of my favorite things to do with them, and they are actually each other's best playmates. Watching their worlds unfold to themselves is a sweet delight.

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These pictures were taken a month ago. 

Outside play currently looks different due to heavy smoke from forest fires. 

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Battlefield Cures

A couple weeks ago we were plagued with the stomach bug and lost all of our dignity. That's rough, but especially rough being pregnant. Woe is me. 

One of the downsides of being that sick is how isolating it is. When we are too sick to play but well enough to feel stir crazy, we use our secret weapon. We take a drive through the Chickamauga Battlefield, mainly in search of deer. This time did not disappoint: we saw two deer fighting:

It was the perfect little break to our stomach bug madness. 

My Social Media Diet

Lauren jokes that I've gone Amish on her. Several months ago, I deleted my Facebook account and never turned back. I haven't missed it at all-it's like leaving a lame party and wondering why I stayed so long. A few weeks ago, I wanted another push. I thought about shutting down my blog and deleting my Instagram. John suggested taking a break from Instagram but keeping my blog, and that's what I did. 

It sounds like such a small move, but it feels like a big life decision. TAKE A BREAK FROM INSTAGRAM? WHAT IF I MISS SOMETHING IMPORTANT? We all know that if it is "important" then the news will reach me. 

So why did I do all this? Several exhausting reasons:

1. It was boring but still a distraction. Facebook with its articles and links and advice and boring parts of people's lives...Instagram with pictures of every little cute moments of people's lives. Once I stepped away, then back in, my first thought was, "wow this is all really not that interesting." Why did I spend so much time keeping tabs with so many people? 

2. It was unnecessary white noise. Here's some honest truth: what I saw on social media and what I thought about posting became a quiet but constant noise in my head. When it comes to people and religion, I've learned that I stir those things over and over in my head. Politics, for example, goes in one ear and out the other for the most part. When it comes to people, I think and think and think about them and what I've experienced (even if it's a picture on Instagram). 

3. I became nostalgic for my pre-social media life. I don't know what it is about this point, but I wanted to live freely. While my blog feels different, maybe more thoughtful, my social media pictures feel over saturated. It felt almost like the fun stuff was only fun because I could share it on Instagram. I wanted to see if I could do fun stuff without ending it in a post to share. 

4. All the cool kids are doing it. We all have those unicorn friends who are off of social media (like my husband) and they seem cooler, above it all. I often wondered, "how do they breathe without that social oxygen?'

So far, it's a great decision. Without the presence of social media, I've realized that I have a friend-void. I need more face-to-face adult interaction, so that's a top priority now. When I get that face to face time, then it's more fun, exciting, and important. I could almost, *almost* say that my life is richer, but that would be too strong. A rich life is not my life's goal, at all. I don't mind being simple, and I think there's a good value in it. However, social media was taking too much away from real life and giving me too much of a foggy life. 

From here, I will keep posting on my blog. I have a teeny tiny readership (hi to my dad and mother-in-law, my most loyal readers!), so it feels small like it's just for me. I will keep my Instagram account. It's off my phone and I won't be checking it regularly. I will definitely be pursuing friend dates more often, and I'll be free of that unnecessary white noise that social media created in my head. Most importantly, I won't take myself too seriously. Hopefully. 

Netflix & Camping

Before I get into my peace-love-happiness chant about our great our time in the woods was, I don't want to forget two poignant stories: 

First, there was a night that Burl stayed up a little later than the rest of the kids. He sat with the adults, poking the fire with a stick (his new favorite camping activity). He said something along the lines of, "I love it here. I wish we could live here and this could be our house." Cue Mama patting herself on the back for giving her kids the real kind of experience. Then he added, "all we need is our TV and I could sit by the fire and watch movies." 

The next morning, I was in the fallen trees near our campsite with the boys. The kids have named it their clubhouse. Ridge was picking off bark on one of the trees, and I had another prideful moment. I thought, "see. Kids don't need a lot of STUFF. Ridge is perfectly content playing with bark!" He sat down in a pile of leaves and played with wood-sy stuff. Then, he picked up a big chunk of bark and put it to his ear and said "ello" like it was a iPhone. 

While we like being outside and most of our best memories happen there, we can't call ourselves outdoorsy. That label is beyond us, because we like Netflix, iPhones, disposable diapers, and regular bathing. For this weekend, we gave up most of those and had another fun time. 

I planned this trip one day longer than we usually do and it still wasn't long enough for Burl and Fern, who went four days without going indoors. Ridge and I skipped the first day, because I'm 6 months pregnant and I played that card. On Friday, we joined John and the big kids and another sweet family came with us too!

This is our second time camping with friends, and I don't think we will ever go back! When I tell older adults about these camping trips, I get knowing smiles and "Oh man! Some of our best family memories are camping with friends!" That's all the fuel I need to my mom-fire to put in the work to pull these weekends off. 

Our kids got along amazingly! These are our "we should get together more often friends" but we usually don't make it happen. Watching our kids together was so sweet-the girls would sneak off to the tent for "private drawing time" and we could find the boys in the hammocks laughing about poop jokes or climbing trees in their faux clubhouse. 

Ridge cautiously roamed the campsite and thankfully had a healthy respect for the fire ring. Praise Jesus for one son who is aware of his surroundings. 

My mom asked what exactly we did on these trips for the whole weekend. Anyone who camps knows that it's a lot of campsite tinkering for adults and kids alike. There's sitting around the fire trading stories, campsite nesting, exploring the campground, and of course, HIKING!

The last day, we met my dad at the inn restaurant as usual, looking tired and dirty. We told him about the deer that ran past our campsite, about Fern falling and hitting her head, about how great our other friends were, about the hammocks, and about poking the fire. 

When we got home, we were exhausted and eager for showers, but we were happy. John and I were talking about the weekend as we went to bed-the weekends often feel too short when we're at home. It's different when we're camping. They feel long and full, like we really had a good, extended time together, so we did what we always do. We started planning the next one...