Self Care Laughter

There is so much buzz and debate around self care these days. It's something that I think about as well! What works and what doesn't work for me is something that I wonder. For a long time, I used to think that self care for me was a break from the kids to do something on my own or with friends. While those are great things, it didn't always do it for me. It put me in a posture of always waiting to get away from my kids so I could relax, only to feel frustrated when I'm with them and never totally myself when I got back from my break.

Some of my breaks include: out to eat with friends, coffee shop mornings by myself, exercising (oldie but goodie), having friends over after bedtime for a bonfire, etc. Those are all good and I still do them occasionally. However, I've recently learned that actually playing with my children is some of my favorite self care! 

It was a nice day when they kids were off of school recently, so we went to the playground for fun and a picnic. We ate, they did their thing, I watched all the things that they wanted me to see, then I got in on the fun. 

I ran, chased, tickled, helped, and did a lot of laughing. That's happening more often, and I've so enjoyed getting involved and laughing with them. Being goofy with them brings me so much joy. In my search for feeling good in life, giving myself over to my role as mother has filled me so much. 

These are my children that I adore and they have truly been my best self care. 

Self Care Play

My friend's husband came up to me a while ago and said, "Jess says she really likes hanging out with you and one of the reasons is you're really good at self care." That made me laugh! What a reputation! 

What used to be be called R&R is now self care, our new buzz phrase. It's thrown at moms the most-having a hard time? stressed out? BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR SELF CARE? There's a pressure for moms to be really really great at self care to keep them mellow.

I'm good at doing things that makes me happy. I hang out with friends, I run, I (try to) meditate, I have hobbies, etc. I'm a hoarder of self care and most of my things are done away from my family and outside of my house. 

Not anymore though! My new favorite, most exciting form of self care is stopping it all and being with my kids. Playing, sitting, talking, answering questions, chasing, etc. It fills me so much right now! I say NO to my perceived fatigue, the mom chores, and all the other things. Like going rogue, I'm choosing self care that keeps me right where I am and embraces the love that's right in front of me. 

A Barefoot Day

When I was younger, I use to get the usual question. "What do you want to be when you grow up?" While I always had a backup profession logged in my dreams, the real, serious, actual first answer never changed. Ever. It was always, "barefoot and pregnant."

I got that dream four times over, and the dream stage hasn't stopped. While making pumpkin bread over the season, my baby grabbed his favorite farm book and found his favorite place, next to mama. The dream continues as those four (and no more) do cute things. 

Empty Time, Full Time

I don't know how it happened, but so much time has passed since I've posted on my blog! Setting aside time to blog has been a more struggle with four active, moving kids, as I expected it to be. Long ago when I started blogging, I had one child who napped 2-3 times a day. Those were the days when sitting down and writing my thoughts about being a new mom were plentiful and fun. Now, we are either focusing on house projects or cleaning some mess and those take my downtime, read: nap time. Or, rather, I'm taking a break from the whirlwind and lying myself flat on my back to find a few minutes of rest from it all.

I still find it fun and good to pair my photos and words about my not so special, gift-of-a life here. It's the gift of an outlet that I love. So, here I am. I'm huddled up by myself while John takes over the morning duties. Glory!

The picture below is not so special, but it meant so much to me. It was the last day of fall break and it was one of those days that felt full and magical. Our fall break trip was cancelled due to the hurricane (more on that later), and we had ourselves a very easy staycation. There was a lot of neighborhood play for my big kids. On this last day of fall break, we met friends at the downtown library, picnicked in the new downtown park, Fern had a much needed girls-only playdate, then we were back home with the kids running from yard to yard with neighbor friends. Someone parked her bike by the trash cans-neighbors coming and going. This time and opportunity is one of my biggest gifts to my children-better than a good education, big gift, exciting trip. While those things are great, I love giving my kids EMPTY TIME TO RUN AROUND AND PLAY! I'm getting preachy, and I don't mean to-sorry. Seeing them play like this brings me so much fulfillment as their mom. 

As I'm writing this out, I'm realizing that my three favorite things to give my kids are: Jesus, chores, and empty time. That's my current mom-flavor. I love when I get to see it. 

Summer Break Blues

The Summer Break Blues is spreading through the whole house right now. We are all missing those slow, long, lazy days. We've been in school for two weeks, and I have to say that the hustle is a HUSTLE. We're back in our groove, but we all miss alarm-less mornings and getting ready whenever we want. Duh. 



I would like to make note of one sweet thing that has happened in our new routine. Burl has become quite the eager helper. Right now Ridge and Burl are sharing the upstairs bedroom, and they aren't allowed to come downstairs until the alarm goes off. Since Ridge is usually up the earliest, Burl plays with him/dresses him/takes him to the bathroom/and keeps him upstairs until it's time to come down. Burl even helps with breakfast. Just this morning he heated up leftover pancakes, and got the babies' plates ready first. He even cuts them into pieces! We tell him that we don't know any other eight year old boy that helps with babies so much!

Now, back to the Summer Break Blues. Friends have asked me how my Summer went. To be honest, I don't know. It was average. It was simple and special and exactly how I wanted (well I would have liked more time). These pictures are from the last two weeks of our break. We lingered in the yard after dinner, made fun drinks and let the kids help, and finally started aggressively attacking our master bathroom remodel. 

We each had our special time outside which is typical of how we like to spend our time. John and Burl threw the frisbee, Ridge played trucks in a small pile of dirt that he found, Fern rode her scooter, Lark pushed the mower, and I was even able to read a little between picture taking! Nights like that one take a lot of work to protect. We're constantly pushing against over-scheduling so we have enough margin to linger in the same place together. It's a good week if we get family yard time every day. 

And here we are. Trying to catch our breath and be ourselves in the midst of our changing schedule. I will say that one perk of school is having the babies all to myself. I'm available for much more snuggles, book reading, and kisses. More on that later!

Have a great living in changing seasons!

Things I'm Loving Right Now

1. Double Dates. We were invited to a double date, which turned into a triple date when we ran into another couple. This is my jam right now. John and I don't have many opportunities for adult conversation without kid interruptions. That's fine. It's a short season, but we enjoy the opportunities when we get them. Now, we find ourselves going on as many double dates  as regular ones. 

2. Running. Running is going well right now and I'm so thankful that my body is working enough so I can run every other day. Schedule, ability, weather, stamina, and desire all have to line up for me to go for a run. So far, I've been able to stay consistent and it feels great. 

3. Citrus. This time of year offers so much sweet fruit. We are all loving cutie oranges (Lark goes crazy if he sees them) and there's always a pineapple on the counter waiting to be cut. (Ridge ate so much pineapple yesterday his tongue was raw-he kept asking, "Why it hurt?")

4. Hat. Wearing a hat is NOT my norm but I finally bought one. Inspired by one of my babysitters and another friend, I made the choice for a spunky beanie for some of our colder days. When I wear it, I always get comments. No flattery, just different versions of, "oh you're wearing a hat." Yes. I'm wearing a hat. The end.

5. Hot tea. When I talked to my doctor about a healthy diet, she mentioned that green tea was good for us. In my effort to be healthier, I've switched from "quit eating so much food" to "what can I put in my body to help me feel good." It's a switch from no no no to yes yes yes. There's a list of things, but mint green tea has been a calming addition. I brew a cup every afternoon as the kids get out of school. I either take it with me for carpool or sip it while I wait for carpool to come to me. It warms me up and it calms me down. It's not as fun as a brownie, but I feel better!

Writing this list helps me see that there are things going well in winter-who knew!? It's not summer, so I need all the practice I can get on focusing on happy/good things. I don't usually get comments, but feel free to tell me things going well for YOU.

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One Year Ago Today

One year and 70 pounds ago, I took this picture. It was the day before Lark was born and the peak of my discomfort. No one knew that the next day would bring forth a 12 pound baby, justifying all the pain. He was worth all of it and I remember that day with so much joy, but it sure is nice to run/get things off the floor/and pee less than 12 times a day!

Nursing: The End

I've always made it to 12-13 months with nursing each child. I don't have a dog in the nursing fight. While breast milk is shown to be healthier, I trust that the Lord is sovereign over everything and if a mom does formula, I wholeheartedly support that. My personal reasons for nursing are two fold: a. it's free and 2. I love the sweet time. 

Over Christmas break, Lark was getting too distracted and busy to nurse well and I was constantly telling John, "I'm not sure that he's going to make it until his birthday." My predictions came true, unfortunately, and he stopped abruptly midday. Just stopped. On his own!?! My kids have never done this before, so I was a little offended. 

John told me with encouragement, "well you're done making and nursing babies!" and I burst into tears. It's been such a sweet season! I couldn't remember any of the demands and only remembered how much it meant to me. I'm very thankful that my body has carried,  delivered, and fed four babies, and I will always look back on the time with love. 

Later that day John showed up with flowers, because he knows a fragile mama when he sees one. 

Now I am free! My body is my own, and John and I have already noticed an increase of my energy level since I stopped. The barn door is closed on all that work and I'm happy to continue to the next chapters of parenting. 

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Phone Dump!

Hello! How's everyone doing out there? We are going on our third straight day of cancelled school due to weather, but we don't have any weather to show of! It's like fake news over here, but I'm not complaining. I love having them home with me, but they have a lot of energy and not a lot of things to do with it. We're all a little:

Crazy but happy! I don't have anything special to share, so I grabbed some special pictures off of my phone to post here. 

Here's one of Fern and her sweet teacher. Fern loves school and adores her teacher. We do too! Fern looks up to her in all the ways, from writing in her journal to style to enthusiasm, Fern is inspired by her teacher. 

A trip to the kids' museum with all these children of different ages is insane, but we found some common ground in the mechanical room. Burl is engineer minded like his dad, so the circuits drew him in quickly. I could not imagine a more engineer like picture of a seven year old. 

Having two little boys at the same age has proved so special. A trip to the playground was made exceptional when they found a teeny tiny slide puddle! 

Burl has been saving his money for a long time to go laser tagging. Joseph's schedule allowed him to take Burl, and Burl's world was transformed. Joseph treated him to the whole night, so Burl got to save all that money! Joseph has researched and perfected his uncle responsibilities and it's not lost on the children. (Thanks Chloe for the picture!) Ps. Burl looks like a teenager here-I join the chorus of everyone we know, "Burl is so tall!"

More on this later, but Lark is changing so.freaking.much. and I love him more and more everyday. We can't get enough of him. 

We've found refuge in our public library. Computers for babies to bang on and cheek improving headphones? Yes please! Let's all remember sweet Fern at the same age doing the same thing. 

There's a short update of some day-to-day nonsense of my children. This time is so short and special to me and I love sharing them on my blog project. Stay warm, people!

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From Breakfast To Dinner

A couple of weeks ago, these three spent their entire day outside. From the kitchen window I saw them relaxing after lunch-a collective pause in their very busy day of play. I had to take a picture. I had to record it. It's my job to remember, as no one else in the house plays the job of Remember or Over-thinker or Recorder like I do. It reminded me of this quote:

"Some days I felt an urgent responsibility to each change of light outside the sunporch windows. Who would remember any of it, any of this our time, and the wind thrashing the buckeye limbs outside? Somebody had to do it, somebody had to hang on to the days with teeth and fists, or the whole show would had been in vain." 

An American Chidlhood by Annie Dillard

Christmas Tucks

Whoop. I'm ready to put some Christmas on this blog! I've got Christmas spirit times two, because last year was a bust. I was 8 months pregnant with the biggest baby ever, sick (ended up getting the flu ON Christmas day), and had no energy but for the tree. My memory of last year was pain and exhaustion. 

Not this year! It's my first Christmas with four children, and they are so into it. They're guessing presents, rearranging nativity scenes and pretending to shoot the fake mistletoe that hangs in the doorway. We're also following an advent guide for the first time. 

After Thanksgiving, we got out the tubs, the music, and a new cookie recipe. We were jolly. I have a small handful of breakable ornaments that I put on the tree in unreachable heights, but other than those, I let the kids decide placement. Fern decided that all the white angles need to be together, so dang it they are together! No spacing here-that makes no sense to her!

Last year, I was at a friend's house for a mom-brunch and her house felt so festive and cozy. She was a tucker (like I am) putting yard trimmings here and color there. Nothing over the top. This year, I tucked too:

My free decoration that's not really free-buy some good colored Christmas card stock, punch oversized holes, and sew together for easy garland. Ridge "helped" with this and was amazed by the production. 

Sometimes the kids help tuck too-Fern got a discarded branch and put in in the vase and added it to this vignette. Like mother, like daughter. 

And Christmas cards-filling our dining room window with color. 

This is the dresser in our bedroom. What you might see is plain and boring, but what I see is PEACE AND QUIET. Mama's haven. 

My next door neighbor has given me an open invitation to grab branches from her front yard. It's a goldmine of evergreens. She has three types and I have some scissors. 

I stuff them everywhere-seriously nearly every room. 

It's like playing Where' Waldo? in each room-where did she put some greenery now?

My biannual watering of my houseplants even looks festive in the sink. I love real plants in the house, but John always jokes about my lack of care for them. They get one watering once they arrive then they're on their own. I'm nurturing a bit more now (and finding more resilient plants). 

Eucalyptus is my favorite! I love the smell and here you'll notice that the muted leaves' colors really bring out the ambiance of the sound machine. 

The living room sees a lot more living this time of year. Aren't twinkling Christmas lights romantic? I've had a standing date with the tree at the beginning and end of every day. John is allowed to come too. 

And now I continue to fill the space under the tree with presents. The more I add, the more the kids' excitement builds. Jesus is the reason for the season, but these sweet children add to it as well. 

Merry Christmas!