January Clearing Around The House

"I can't think of anything happier than all these cozy decorations," I declare every year when we put up the Christmas tree and add the layers. Then, as soon as Christmas passes, I'm over it and want calm and clear and bare and quiet. 

Packing away all the Christmas love avalanches me into more clearing. This year, I emptied the mantel and it's currently stark naked. 

I tackled the crammed bookshelves. Anytime I do something book related; whether it's letter writing, journaling, reading, magazine-ing, purging; the kids always join me in their own flavor of it. Fern was my partner in crime. 

I looked through and said goodbye to my beloved Country Home and Cottage Living (bring back CL!) while she made a collage of cute pictures. I'm a recovering book hoarder-ah the days I worked at the book store! Now, I keep good ones to re-read or loan and the others get sold. 

After I organized our books, there were several gaps on the shelves, so I had to style them-something I'm never confident doing. Style them is a fancy way of saying "finding stuff for me to put in the holes."

I've trimmed down a lot of my house accessories, so there wasn't much to choose from: 

A washing bowl and towel, a gift when you join our church

A vase I bought on a trip with John

Some feathers my mom used to wrap a gift

An egg, my very first painting from an art class I took years ago

Burl's first communion cup 

The tinkering was fun and it's already changed since I took these photos.

Now, it's on to more spaces that need some clearing. That's how I'm addressing these cold hard months: by cleaning and calming. I would almost be tempted to use the word quiet-ing, but I have too many children for that.

{Craft-ish} Room Makeover

I just made my new favorite room of the house. Just off our living room is a porch-turned room that has played many parts in the eight years we've lived here. Most recently, it was a grand craft room, but it always became junky quickly. The furniture and the overwhelming amount of "crafts" weren't working. Things needed to change, and I love changing rooms! Since elementary school when I would put my furniture on washcloths and rearrange my room, I love finding the way a room works. This is the story of making a room that I love.

Besides needing a good purge, our furniture wasn't working. Our massive table was collecting everything, our shelves were peaking over the half wall, and our homemade desk had stains and the paint was coming off (and not in the cute way). It was a room full of eye sores. Here are some before pictures:

My first step was to pull everything out and purge. I had so many crafts that I hadn't worked on in a few years, so those things went in the trash. We found some friends to pass on the furniture that wasn't working. Then, I brought in a few cheap pieces that I picked up at Ikea (and got the kids help on assembling). 

Specifically, I bought a simple dresser from Ikea and a new desk system. Ikea has build-your-own desk systems that are extremely affordable. There are so many options. I bought legs for $3, table top for $6, and the drawers for around $50. 

Here are the after pictures:

My favorite is our new little desk. It's cleaner and more sleek than what we had before. I loved it so much that I wanted to keep the surface clean, but the girl in me couldn't help but put some cute little things on top. 

The dresser holds all our crafts. The kids were so excited about the bottom drawer, because it's dedicated just for them. Their tape, construction paper, paints, etc are all stored for them.  The top two drawers are just for me. Ribbons, glue gun, my paints, etc are all in there-a smaller version of my previous hoard of supplies.

There is one eye sore in the room, but it's necessary. I have our two strollers folded up against the chair, but that is really the only place that they can be. We use them often. I guess one eye sore is better than a whole room full of them?

Immediately after we finished the room, the kids were eager to do crafts. I set up their little table (we had one of these when I was a kid and I always loved it!) and they spent a lot of time in the room staying busy. 

I guess technically, this still serves as a craft room. I wouldn't call us a huge crafting family at the moment, but it is nice to have a organized space to keep our things. I'm on an all-things-house kick, so this room hit all the right triggers for me. Even if it means cutting shelves in half, I love figuring out how to make a room organized and work the best for us. This room is working well and it's refreshing to walk into this little corner of our house.

My Minimalist Craft Space

Oh heavens, I feel like I've been gone from this place forever.  An over-exciting weekend and a sick computer have kept me away for a few extra days.  I'm back and I'm ready to talk about my little minimalist make-over of my life.  Well, makeover might be too strong of a word, but things are changing at my house.  Aren't they always, though.  Gosh, sometimes I crave change and growth and evolution so much, that I'm looking for it all the time.  

So, here's the thing: I started reading the Minimalist blog.  Have you tried it?  It's good stuff.   My favorite entry is where they talk about how decluttering is a farce and not the answer to our excessive lives like we think it is.  A close second is the entry where they drop this line: Organizing is often well planned hoarding.  These reads are the things that have really helped me put into action some of the things that have been tugging on me since I got back from Belize in June.  There's excess.  There's stuff.  There's life.  And I want to do it all.  While I do like my possessions, my excess shows up big time in the things that I want to do.  Some have issues with having, I have issues with doing.

 

While I've been examining all areas of my life, just for fun because that's my idea of fun, I've been thinking about my crafting area.  It's been messy and cluttered for a bit, and I've left it that way.  That's how "artist" are...they have messy, cluttery spaces.  The stuff was getting on my nerves and I needed to clean it out, but I needed more.  I had to give up on a lot of stuff that I wanted to do.  I wanted to make everything and it just wasn't happening.

While I'm still interested in crafting some things, I've found some freedom in letting a large portion of my projects go.  I'm not starting on anything new.  I'm not holding on to several little half finished projects.  I'm just laying low and working on a few things here and there.  I think that's called growth.  

I highly recommend subscribing to that blog, and start asking the questions: what do we need to cut down on?  What else do we need to let go?  Where else can we find freedom?

Throwing Up Crazy

Well, we've been hitting the illness pretty hard around here.  While I like to think I'm good in these circumstances, I'm starting to think that I'm not that great at it.  My strengths are these:

I'll give you pain meds if you ask for them or not.  Just a little somethin' somethin' to take the edge off.

I'll wake up quickly in the middle of the night and jump into action if you're bad off.  While a little cry hear or there will barely awaken me, a few random screams and I'm up.  Burl ralphed for the first time this week.  He picked up the stomach bug (along with 3 others) from the church nursery.  He was vomiting and I was all about helping him.  Fern did a hacking cough in the middle of the night and I was up like a flash checking to see if she had gotten the bug.  Not yet.  

I'll remember what I wanted when I was sick and get you the same.  Juice, crackers, it's all yours babe.  It doesn't seem that long ago that I had the stomach bug (about 10 years ago), and it still haunts me.  Any illness that will make me feel totally comfortable hugging the john and  sprawled out on the bathroom floor like a bath mat is an illness that I'll never forget.

I'm not put off by throw up. Everywhere.  Burl's thrown up on five occasions, and not one of them has been into anything.  Bed, floor, carpet, couch, and me.  None of those bother me.  I was a little put off that last time though.  I thought we were all done with the stomach bug.  I took some time to myself to go tinkle, when I was interrupted by Burl.  He walked in the bathroom looking horrible, and before I could figure out what was happening, I was covered in projectile vomit.  One has not lived until they've been puked on while sitting on the pot.

On top of that, the kids have really runny noses and sleepy eyes and a need to be semi-lethargic.  But Mama knows that a huge helping of television is just what a kid needs.  Baby Einstein and Curious George are on pretty regularly around here.

I'll also let you do whatever indoor activities you want.  We're doing a lot of painting these days.  While painting pictures isn't that interesting, mixing colors is a big deal to Burl.  

Sometimes I'll ask him to tell me about his picture.  This one has snakes (obviously) and a painting of me.  That red blob that resembles a kangaroo is me.  On the top left you'll see a snot sticking out, which Burl calls my nose.  That tail thing on the right is my bottom.  That's a direct quote from my first born.  Ah, the love.

Here's what I'm not good at: being sequestered from friends.  While our days are filled with whining and toddling, we are pretty stuck here at home. Alone.  (Despite a few "We're Better, So Let's Go Places" Attempts.  That was my bad.)  I'm in my home and in my head a lot, and I'm starting to get anxious.  The things that aren't done around here are starting to talk to me.  I'm hearing voices.  From checking on our life insurance policy to finishing the trim in the den, my mind is racing on things undone.  

Last night, I went for a run and cleaned out my napkin collection and that temporarily did the fix.  This afternoon I added one of the kids' goats to our plant and for some reason all those things made me feel better.  Then, they made me feel crazy because they make me sound like a control freak who should get out more.  Run. Organization. Silliness. Those are the things that make me feel better.  I'm like an addict that has to get a fix.  This sick thing is not for me.  I'm not the best Mama in these circumstances.  Any words of wisdom?  Any helpful advice?  I'm all ears.  Please, talk to me.  No, I really mean it.  Mama needs to talk about it!!! 

On Getting Out The Door...

It's 10:30 in the morning.  I'm gathering my essentials and shoving Fern's breakfast at her.  She slept super late and needed it, so John went ahead to church with Burl, and I stayed back with Fern.  Daniel walks downstairs, emerging from his deep sleep.  After a few greetings were exchanged, this is how the conversation went...

Daniel: "What time does church start?" 

Me: "It starts now.  We're late.  But I'm leaving now."

Daniel: "Crap. I was going to go to church with yall today.  Dang it."

"You've got 5 minutes.  I'll get you a cup of coffee and meet you in the car."

"Awesome.  Thanks."

And off Daniel goes to get ready in record time and we make it to church just as the sermon begins.  He showered and everything.

I thought about this incident today as a friend and I were bemoaning the chore of getting out the door.  I'm not that great at being on time, so I can be caught acting like a crazy lady when we're trying to go somewhere.  There are simple things that we can do to help us out the door (set expectations low, pack the bag the night before, wake up early, prep clothes, etc.), but he did some even simpler things that are good to remember. I boiled down Daniel's crazyfastgettingready and gathered some pointers as to how it can help me (us).  These are to help and encourage, not create more anxiety:

1. Move quickly. This is the easy part. Duh.  

2. Only do what's necessary.  He had no time to check email, read that article, lay around.  He only did the things that had to be done to get him out the door.  How many times have I got involved in something that I really didn't have time for?  Do I really have time to clean the commode?  Do I really have time to sweep the kitchen or should I do that when I return?  Do I really have time to lay around and drink that second cup of coffee?  Usually the answer is no.  Usually when I'm late, I think that I could have been on time if I wouldn't have done ____ or if I would have gotten up earlier (which is usually the problem).

3. Stay focused. This is somewhat  linked to #2, but it has a little more power.  Things work best  if I stay focused on one thing at a time.  I'll get dressed-then dress the kids-then brush my teeth-then get my phone-then get shoes on-then pack diapers.  No.  That doesn't work.  It works best if I do one thing at at time, in its entirety.  Get me completely ready.  Pack the bag.  Get the kids completely ready.  Load. 

4. Do a few things in the car (optional).  Not like texting or brushing my teeth or anything.  This isn't college.  However, there are a few things that I can do while I drive that I consider ok.  I can not answer that call that happens to come every time that I'm trying to lock the door with the kids in my arms.  I can wait until I'm driving to return that phone call.  Or, I can drink my coffee in the car instead of at home while I gaze at those freaky squirrels out the window.  

5. Keep grooming to a minimum.  I'm not in the stage of life where I'm going to be able to paint my nails everyday (don't think I'll ever do this), switch out my purse to match my outfit, or even match my shoes to my outfit.  While Daniel is a boy with short hair and doesn't wear makeup, his grooming will always be less than mine.  However, I try to set my expectations realistically lower at this point in my life without looking like a a crazy lady-no offense crazy ladies.  (Hello washing my hair every other day.) 

Ok, there is a nerdy little list that I thought about today.  It's totally inspired by a phone conversation that I had today and my crazy little brother, Daniel.  Nicknames: Danimal, Nanul.  Any other tips?  Any other thoughts?  Any other perspectives?  Do share...Until then, expect me 5-10 minutes after the set time we're suppose to meet.  On a good day.

Thanksgiving Thoughts & Goals

On the eve of Thanksgiving, I sat down and wrote some of my mental goals going into the holiday.  Holidays usually revolve around people, and these are ways that have been keeping me from seeing those people who are in my life.  Here are my thoughts:

On eating...It's about to get awesome up in here with all the good foods coming my way.  I want the meal to be about the family that I'm eating it with, not the yumminess that I get to enjoy.  Instead of gluttonously looking at what I'm about to consume, I want to celebrate good foods.  Above all, I want the food to come second to people on the list of things that take my focus.  

 On cleaning...With several cooks and way more eaters in my house, things are going to get sticky quickly.  I want to not even see it.  I want to see all my family crammed in my kitchen and not even see the mess that may or may not happening.  These times that we're all together are rare, and I don't want to be consumed with a mess.  Messes are temporary, but so are those family gatherings.  Only one gets my attention.  

I found some good perspective on this on Facebook.  One of my older friends who has grandchildren all over and a daughter in Spain posted this, "Got up this morning to a quiet and orderly house.  So sad.  Miss my babes."  Later in the comments she says, "I would gladly trade my neat, clean, and organized house for sticky fingerprints and toys all over the place."  I bet she's so welcoming and nurturing at family gatherings!  

On giving...It has always felt good to be generous.  Not only with money but with time, effort, and words makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside.  The warm and fuzzy are really masks for proud and powerful.  My generosity usually comes from a place that is above the recipient, like I'm reaching down off my high platform.  From now on, I want to be compelled to give because it's not mine in the first place.  From money to ability to willingness, it is not me who has but me has been given to.   With joy and humility and gratefulness, I want to be generous because someone has been extremely generous to me.



When I read over these, I remember how much I failed and how much I succeeded all the same.  While there is definitely room for growth (as there always be), I am amazed at how the past year things have changed in my heart.  Perspective has been given to me.  My heart has been pierced.  Intentional thinking and living is starting to bloom.  The overwhelming feeling that I have is freedom.  I've been set free from a few things that have so entangled my heart.  A free(-er) heart makes life grand.

A Tidy Dysfunction

Yesterday was one of those days when I was feeling overwhelmed by the unfinished projects around the house.  Instead of worrying about the big projects, I was overwhelmed by the little things.  The things out of place that stay there too long until they become permanent fixtures...those things are the bane of my existence.  I literally hate those things.  The stack of magazines on the floor.  The Christmas presents on the dining room table.  The few things set out to return to people.  Ugh.  That stuff just drives me up the wall!  Yesterday it was the loose cable wires around my computer.  

We have one of those old desktop computers with 32908523 cords and that were just sitting under the desk, tucked "away." The cable cord wasn't properly attached to the modem, so it fell out frequently, sending no-internet mayhem through the house.  

Enough was enough and I was becoming crazy.  When the kids were napping, I used my precious baby-free-time to conquer the cords, or at least clean them.  I posted about it on Facebook right before I did it and that seemed to really help.  I asked for advice and well-wishes.  My friends were kind, gracious, humorous, and very helpful.



I decided that the dirty floors and cords were at war and robbing me of the play-day-at-home that I envisioned.  I wanted to play with the kids and enjoy the peace of no constraints on our schedules, but how can one have said peace when there is vital work to do?  I felt a pull and a nudge to calm my heart with prayer and maybe some time reading my Bible, but the opportunity to clean and bring order seemed like a better route.  



I started cleaning.  Vacuum.  Dusting Rag.  Me on the floor underneath the desk.  Someone suggested black flexi conduit, and I loved that idea.  When the kids woke, I threw them in the car and made a dash for Home Depot.  I had a long conversation with an employee trying to explain something technical with my simple laywoman terms. I bought a drainage tube for the cords...like what one uses on the exterior of houses with the gutters.  It was white.  Color me elated!!!



I got home and wrapped things up.  The After Picture, The Result, was thrilling.  I felt so good.  Finally, at the almost end of the day, I could relax.  I talked to John about it later, because it kind of felt wrong.  "I want to be a person who can have peace without having things in order, but I want things in order."  It hit me...it's just like drug addiction.  I needed that order.  I needed to clean one thing.  Tackle one obstacle.  Just one hit of cleaning and I could keep functioning.  Hi, my name is Meg and I have a tidy addiction.  



The drainage tube turned cord corral was genius.  It's a great idea and it highly beats the zips ties that I tried.  That's not the moral to this story.  Actually there is no moral.  Just a confession.  Just me trying to find a balance of nice home and nice-enough-focus-on-real-life homes.  But, seriously, it's great to have the desk looking nicer.

Our Cloth Napkins

There are three types of people in this world: 

1. Paper napkin people.

2. Cloth napkin people.

3. Napkin? Huh? people.  

I'm #2.  Our entire house are 2's.  It's been that way for years now.  My dad has always been a cloth-over-paper kind of guy, so I guess my roots start there.  But, that's not where my passion comes from.  When I was first married, I worked at a local home decor store.  She got the best napkins there and I was always the first to see them.  The owner let me have everything at cost, so I was getting a great deal.  Occasionally, I would get some for the house.  Next thing I knew, I had a pretty solid collection.  I mainly had white, but added some soft blues and soft pinks in there.  I even found great ones at Walmart!

Fast forward 9 years, two house, and two kids later and they have become a regular part of our lives.  Every meal we're grabbing napkins for each person.  They sit in our laps and wipe mouths and clothes as the babies feed themselves, then at the end of the meal, they serve as towels to wipe down our sticky surfaces.  We go through several a day.  

We have two stashes: stained and very stained.  The stained are the nice ones for company, which is less a term and more a number.  If we have enough people over, we eat our meals in the dining room where the stained nice ones are.  If we have one person over, we stay in the kitchen in the pop up table and get them from the cubbie.

The benefits of cloth napkins are that they cut down on the cost of napkins/paper towels, they cut down on waste, and they add a special touch to sitting down to a meal (my favorite reason).  They are so a part of our lives, that Burl is quick to run for a napkin if he's playing "eat" in his room or spilled some milk or is helping us if we spill something.  

Obviously by the pictures, I don't iron them.  (Confession: I used to iron each.and.every.one back in those newlywed days. Ha!)  In one of the Barefoot Contessa cookbooks, she says that ironing napkins take away from that natural, casual look.  Since I adore natural and casual look and don't have time for formalities, un-ironed napkins are the name of my game. 

 Also, they are inexpensive for just a few.  Sometimes I'll add 2-4 into my grocery shopping when I'm at Walmart. It takes the sting out of buying several at one time.  I've even been known to ask for them as presents...I'm addicted to napkins!  Switching from #1 to #2 people has been a pleasant little switch for us.  

What about you?  1,2, or 3 people?  Wouldn't it be nice to have a little stash of napkins?  Check Walmart, Kmart, Target.  They all have cute ones, and can be found at great prices on clearance!  Happy wiping. 

Bouquet Of Pencils

True story: I opened every single type of pencils at Target hoping to find green erasers.  No luck.  It's that time of year where I long for a notebooks full of college-ruled paper and multi-colored tabbed dividers.  Sometimes I treat myself to a small pack of these pens, black or blue.  (I usually get them in my Christmas stocking too!)  

I might be the only one who saved her high school money to buy the "nice" notebooks, but I know that I'm not the only one who prefers a bouquet of pencils over a bouquet of flowers.  

To all my school supplies junkies, I'd like to know: what is your favorite school supply?

Three Types Of Clutter

I like to say that I've always been a purger.  It's a drug that's been running through my veins since I was a young girl.  It's even been there since that period of time where I tried to get my little brothers to call my room "Meg's Market."  They never bought that.  I had my own room growing up and I loved decorating, rearranging, cleaning, organizing, and PURGING that little space.  The urge to purge has always been there.  

It really took off a few years ago when I was watching an Oprah show about hoarders.  The professional explained that there are three types of clutter.  Once I heard about these three types and realized that all my extra junk could fit into these three types, it helped me let that stuff go.  

Here they are:

1. Future Clutter:  This is stuff that we hold onto because we think we might need it in the future or we have plans to do something with it once we have time. That lamp that needs to be repaired.  The shoe that is missing its mate.  Those scraps of fabric.  We can hold onto those things forever, keep sorting through them, making space for them, getting mad they are still in our house.  Or, we can toss them.  Donate them.  Let them go.  In the future, if we find out that we needed it, what will happen?  Will we implode?  Will the world stop to exist?  No.  We'll still have all that other stuff in our house.  If we regret a past purge that we made, is life really that hard?  No, not at all.

2. Obligation Clutter: This is the clutter that we hang onto because we feel like we have to keep it or it will hurt someone's feelings.  That random Christmas present.  That little piece of wood that came off the tree of Great Aunt Betsy's house.  That bowl that your neighbor's cousin made for you.  Please.  I have the easiest time parting with obligation clutter.  No one has actually handed something random to me and said, "please take dear care of this or it will crush my feelings."  Chunk.that.junk.

3. Sentimental Clutter.  This is a very touchy one.  This is the clutter that we hold onto because it means something to us.  Don't we all have sentimental clutter?  Maybe a friendship is over, maybe someone isn't living anymore, maybe they just moved away.  Either way, we hold onto things because they remind us of someone dear to us.  As we process through our loss, we are able to let go of their belongings.  We might pass on their possessions, but that doesn't mean we forget them.  They live on in pictures, stories, and memories.  They don't live on in a 600 piece doll collection.  Maybe we can slowly get rid of that sentimental clutter.  (ie, get rid of 599 of the dolls, keep one doll as a reminder.) We can donate or throw away their things, but that doesn't mean that we give up on what they meant to us.  

 

This week, we had a dumpster delivered to our house for 24 hours.  (I know someone will ask...Call 311.  It's free for people in the city limits.)  We went through our attic and basement and got rid of a lot of stuff.  When discussing what to let go, I heard John say this several times, "It's sentimental clutter.  Toss it."  By the end of the day he said, "We had so much sentimental clutter."  We tossed some stuff.  We donated some stuff.  Our neighbors tossed some stuff.  

As Americans, I feel like our biggest challenge is learning to say "no" to all the excess in our lives.  John and I have decided to try and accumulate less stuff.  This is what we want.  Filling dumpsters with our junk is definitely NOT what we want.  

When sorting our belongings, we noticed that if things fit into the 3 types of clutter, then we were ok with letting them go.  I'm sharing those three things because I hope it frees up some other people to chunk their junk.  Happy purging.

The Freeing Part Of {Small} Purging

I'm a big, huge fan of purging.  I like purging on a big scale and on a small scale.  There are so many pros to it.  First of all, it gets rid of excess, and no one likes excess.  Second, it means someone else gets the stuff (thrift store shopper, friend, etc.).  Third, it keeps things looking nice and tidy, and let's face it, tidy is a good thing.  Fourth, the clutter stops weighing us down, and that is my favorite one!  For me, it feels so good to get rid of stuff.  {I've been known to compare it to a good counseling session.}

There was an article in Real Simple a while ago written by a counselor or life coach or something.  She said that she advises a lot of her clients who are feeling overwhelmed to go home and get rid five things.  Five things that need to be discarded.  Something about the process is helpful.  I wish I could remember the science and reasoning behind it, but I don't.  What I do know is the feeling that I get when I clean something out, discarding the un-needed, un-used, un-wanted excess in my life.  

This morning, I had to bleach the spice/canned food cabinet because of ants.  I threw away old, expired spices and canned goods-including a can of chopped spinach that my brother bought the first time he lived with us.  Two years ago.

I felt so empowered by that little job that I moved onto our tiny coffee cabinet, then to our larger cabinet where we keep all of our mugs.  We are rich in mugs but poor in space, so I purged our excess mugs right to goodwill and one to my sister-in-law.  It felt good.  My whole house hasn't been cleaned out, but I definitely feel a sense of calm when I go to the cabinets, and I wanted to encourage everyone out there who is feeling overwhelmed by clutter.  Start small.  The pile of tank tops.  Old magazines.  That random stack of papers.  The junk drawer.  It's all small steps to a bigger goal.

Sort of like running.  No matter how slow you go, it's still faster than if I was on the couch.  

It's all progress towards a bigger goal.  And progress always beats stagnant every time.