On Christmas Eve, 2012

I'm a little sick right now.  There's no official diagnosis, but I think I have a sinus infection, whatever that means.  Because I hardly get sick, I'm the biggest wimp when it happens.  I try to act extra pitiful so everyone around me knows just how bad I feel.  In order to stay warm, I put the wool socks over the skinny jeans.  When I walked into the kitchen, John took one look at me and said, "oh wow.  You really are sick if you're tucking your jeans into your socks."    

I'm not cancel-Christmas or Christmas-in-my-bed sick, just a little sick.  Last night all my cousins came over and I was feeling a little crummy going into it, but as soon as they got here I was so happy and excited that I felt no pain.  That's called merriment.  I'm pretty sure that waking up tomorrow I'm going to be so excited about Christmas with the kids that I will feel no pain once again.  

Burl is so excited about "Christmas Day," but poor guy has no clue when it's coming.  I started telling him on Saturday the things that would happen each day leading up until tomorrow.  Between my confusing way of explaining things and his little toddler mind, I'm not sure he got it. I think he understands that tomorrow is Christmas Day.  Note to self: do advent calendar next year.  Then, there is Fern who really has no idea what's happening, but I have high hopes for her.  She loves pulling things out of bags, so I have a wicked stocking planned for her!  She follows Burl's lead pretty well, so there will be no stopping her when she sees all of her presents.

Right now, the meaning of Christmas is a little jumbled in their minds.  From where they stand, there are presents, a tree, people coming over constantly, trips to see lights, hype around Santa, and talk about Jesus' birthday (and a few questions about birthday cupcakes).  Another note to self: find good advent books.  We don't have our Jesus/Santa/Christmas story down, deciding who gets what credit and hype time.  Instead, we're letting a toddler's mind take the lead.  One thing is for sure: we are giving him presents.

I've been thinking about all the presents that we're giving our children.  Is it right or wrong?  If I start comparing us to others, then I can find some who are giving more than us and some who are not giving as much as we are.  Comparing never helps much.  So I thought and thought and thought about giving to my kids.  Here's the thing: this is probably the purest of all my giving.  Giving to children is purely giving.  With other gifts, I might get pride over finding the perfect gift or sadness over totally missing the mark or excitement that I know how to give a good gift (or not), but giving gifts to my kids is all about them.  I'm going to be excited to see them excited.  I'm giving because I want them to have it and I know they will be happy.

Tonight, after they go to bed, John and I will stay up late.  We're going to watch It's A Wonderful Life while filling their stockings and getting everything ready.  I'm thrilled!  Sick or not, Santa and Jesus, snow or fog, there is Christmas magic in the air, and it will make tomorrow wonderful.
To you and yours, Merry Christmas!