Tuesday, November 7, 2017

Too Much & Not Enough

I can't slow down time or add days to this sweet short season of my life. However, I can slow the pace by which I live them. For the next year, I've given up social media (blog excluded) and texting.  I've taken major strides on getting myself off of my phone over the year and it's helped, but the changes have not been enough. I want for more of life and less of phone. 

The main reason that I'm doing this is that I have a disdain for keeping up with and managing my phone. It's another thing to get out the door, another thing that I have to make sure is with me, another thing to check, and another thing to speed up my life. I was fed up.

Growing up in the 80s and 90s, cell phones didn't enter the scene until I was in college. In many ways I hold a deep nostalgia for that pace of life. The only interruptions were a knock on the door or a ringing phone. I was either with people or I wasn't with people. My time alone was alone and my time with people was fun and great. There were no blurred lines of socializing. When I was by myself I watched TV, listened to music, wrote in my journal, (I didn't become a reader until adulthood,) daydreamed, moped, doodled, and my ultimate favorite thing to do: wondered about stuff. 

Texting and Instagram helped living my life like this for a little bit. Texting helped coordinate my calendar and Instagram gave me a fuller view into the lives of my friends. These were helpful tools until they weren't. The scales tipped along the way and socializing happened on my phone instead of in person-a watered down version of friendship. 

Sure, I love a good banter in my girlfriend text thread or sharing cute videos of the the kids with my extended family. It became too much and not enough. I was shoving my phone camera in my kids faces to share whatever cute thing they were doing at the moment. I missed hanging out and letting loose and not worrying about a picture. 

This word vomit of thoughts got me to hating my cell phone. I was ready to get rid of it and install a landline. After talks with John and friends, the decision was made to cut down the functions of my iPhone. I'm a little scared about the adjustment, but I'm also looking forward to the reclaimed time and fuller meet ups with friends.

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