Random Street Guy, A Song, And Fern

Today is my eighth anniversary with John.  We've had some good talks lately about our marriage.  I heard or read somewhere that there are a lot of good marriages out there, but great marriages are rare.  So, in these talks, we've taken the temperature of our marriage.  We talk about what is good and what we would like to change.  I'm sure it would be cool if I had the courage to share all of it, but I'm not.  I want to keep it for John and me right now.

There is one thing that I'll share.  It's a personal goal for myself.  It all started with a conversation I was having with John and some friends.  We were joking, but it got me thinking.  I was telling the story about some Starbucks thinking I was in high school, then a street guy telling me I fill out my jeans nicely.  I took both as compliments.  And we laughed that I believe random people, but don't listen when John tells me I'm beautiful everyday.  

Then I heard this song and some others about guys who hurt because their girls don't believe them that they are beautiful.

It really got me thinking.  One day I'm going to marvel at Fern-well, I already do.  I'm going to tell her that she is beautiful, and she might believe me.  She might write off my compliment because it's coming from her mom.  And that's going to hurt me.  I already think she is so adorable, and I can't imagine what it would feel like for her to tell me otherwise.

So, that all got me to thinking some more about John and me and our marriage.  When I don't accept his compliments and I don't let them in my heart, it's got to hurt him and me and our marriage.  My personal goal is to {1} hear the compliment and accept it and maybe down the road, {2} I'll start to believe it of myself.  

The first picture is a perfect example.  I was playing around with my new lens and John and I were trying to get a cute couple shot.  Every pose, I hated.  I changed clothes.  I didn't like any of them.  Finally, John said, "this all feels unnatural," to which I responded, "I don't know how to be natural right now."  That's when he grabbed me, hugged me, and I relaxed and smiled and got the shot that I was hoping for.

And this is all a lot for me to share and hitting "publish" is going to be scary, but I'm going to do it. Because, as women, I feel like we all have a hard time believing others when they give us a compliment.  Maybe we can all try to start to believe our spouses, our mates, our parents, our friends, and that random street guy.  I think things would be great if we did that.