On Having A Daughter

I think that John is right: I'm different with Baby Fern than I was with Baby Burl.  Something about having a girl is different for me.  I don't know how to describe it.

For all those times that Burl falls down or hits his head without even a flinch, I'm right there helping him tough-it-up.  "Oh, you're ok, buddy.  Did you hit your head?  You'll be ok.  I love you, buddy."  Sure, if he's hurt bad, I'll cover him with affection and tenderness, but he has to at least be crying.

With Fern, I barely graze her face with her clothes while I'm changing her and I'm inspecting her for any signs of injury, wondering if her feelings are hurt, and she's not even showing signs of pain.  I cover her face with kisses, get real close, and say, "oh, did mama hurt Fern?  Mama didn't mean to.  Oh, my precious Fern.  It's ok."  And again, she's showing no signs of pain or injury.

Her new scrunch-up-the-nose face.

I take all the time in the world when buckling her in her car seat, showing every caution imaginable, then I kiss her cheeks 2-5 times and go.  With Burl, I throw him in the car seat, sometimes slightly and accidentally bumping his head on the door frame, then buckle him and tickle him until he laughs hard.

I want to cover her with cotton balls and ruffles and throw flower petals around her when she's in the bouncy seat.  With Burl, I put him in camo shorts, forget a shirt and laugh at how funny he is.

These examples might be a little exaggerated, but I'm just trying to explain the subtle differences of having a son and have a daughter.  Do I love one more than the other? As if.  Do I love and take care of them differently?  Oh baby, do I!

I don't get as much one-on-one time with Fern as I do with Burl-that's just how it is when she sleeps for most of her day and he plays for most of his.  So, I've made a little space for us everyday.  Burl goes down for his nap, and I get 30 (ish) minutes with my little Ferny.  (My Little Ferny & Ferny-Fern-Fern are her two current nicknames.)  We usually get on my bed and play roll-over, tickle, and any other tricks that are making her laugh at the moment.  

And it's magical.  Today during that time, she was soft and warm and so delightful.  She was rolling around, turning her head in my arms, and being so very playful.  I thought to myself, "wow.  I get to have a BABY in the house.  And that BABY is Fern."  And I love it!  I love my little daughter and I love our little time together.