Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Approaching This Thanksgiving Differently

I've been thinking about Thanksgiving.  I've been daydreaming about how much better it is already going to be than last year.  Gosh.  Last year was when my dad got sick and couldn't cook his part, when Burl got horribly sick and had so sleep (his first time ever) in our room/bed, when I was still pretty exhausted and tired from a little thing called childbirth and wanted so badly to sleep, when I was somewhat mad because my brothers weren't sisters who would buy me flowers and mop my floor and brush my hair.

The craziness last year was a combination of three things: the circumstances, the fact that I had a baby only 3 weeks prior, and most embarrassing, was my strong hold on control and order.  It only took four booksone mission trip, a little freedom from foodsome encouraging women, and a loving and graceful God to loosen my grip on control, order, and managing what people thought of me.  If I had to say thanks for one thing, then it would be a big phat Thank You to the Lord for setting me free of all that.  It's changed the atmosphere of this house, and it's going to change the air of Thanksgiving for me this year.

Things may or may not look different than last year, but they will sure feel different.  This year, I'll probably pre-set the table that no one but my mom will notice, I might clean a little extra (or might not), and things might go terribly wrong, but I know I'll be ok.  I've learned that I want a little extra when it comes to my table, which might only be some tealights.  I've learned that I love cooking every night for my family, but when it comes to big meals, I enjoy being cooked for.  I've learned that sometimes I go into gatherings like these with the wrong perspective.  

In my head, I've been writing a little list of goals for this holiday season.  If everything goes ok, then I'll post them tomorrow.  Happy Thanksgiving! 

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